THOSE WHO SOW IN TEARS

January 21, 1990 when we got married, I couldn't be happier knowing I married the will of God for my life, happiness was too mild to describe what we both felt that day, I could hold joy in both my hands and greet ecstacy with a wave, all the beautiful feelings were right inside of us, you know that kind of feeling: "that everything is just so good, so right and so beautiful". That was what it was with me and Deremi, my shinning armour.Again, God was with us he helped us to keep ourselves pure till that day and indeed it was a whole new level for us, if you know what I mean. After our honeymoon, I braced up to cope  with marital challenges, waking up early to make sure my husband no longer starve in the office and being conscious of not relaxing on looking good for him, keeping the house clean and nice was another and again, making myself available for him was on top of my list. So I was really prepared for marriage, i didnt just prepare for the wedding and everything was going on so smootly, people began to tease my husband saying he had never looked so handsome and he became so attached to me and our home that he finds it hard to leave me for long, that is the power of love coupled with wisdom from a woman of purpose. We became role model couple in church and was in no time included as singles fellowship coordinators because of our successful marriage.

so what happened to us?

This was the question I asked my self on january 21, 2000 when Deremi insisted we go to South Africa for our wedding anniversary, he knew I could no longer  understand  the way our lives had turned.Medically we have been proven to be absolutely okay, spritually there were no forces working against us because we had settled that in prayers during our courtship and God had assured us while we prayed that we had crossed over from law to grace, so ancestral demons would not work against our marriage.Through out these ten yeras I had gone back to God in prayers and he said to me and my husband that he has already answered our prayers on child birth that we should ask for another thing he would want want him to do for us.but alas, there was no child even after 15 years.

so where is the child God said he has given us?

I began to act funny, I knew within me that i had not given birth before so I put it to my husband whether he had impregnated a woman a long time ago because I thought if God says he had already answered our prayers, perhaps there was a neglected child somewhere that God wanted us to bring in before giving us another.I knew we both married as virgins but I only believed what Deremi told me, there was no way one could check if a man was really a virgin so I began to pester and haunt him to confess what he didnt do and our marriage took another turn of woes.We began quarelling every day, he became so irritating to me because I took over the battle, we no longer pray together and peole began to notice we came in different cars to church and other functions.
he tried, oh, he tried to make things work but I objectified him as the problem, I was very angry, with the way life has ditched us, by now my first child was supposed to be in the university and here I was still waiting and I was also embittered that even if the child finally comes, how would it be for me to be carrying a pregenancy at this stage of my life when all my friends have been sending me messages of how their children are been matriculated into higher institutions.
then I gave up, I stopped trying, I stopped loving, i stopped praying and I stopped expecting.my husband kept trying, he would cook for me, he would pray on our behalf and he kept thanking God for what he did not see-the promised child-

so what happened to me?

Brethren started praying for me, oh, may you not lack the company of praying men on your day of adversity, I did not lack that and God answered them, he brought me back to him and I finally saw what I had been doing, because I had not seen the physical manisfestation of what God promised me I began to misbehave and began destroying the home the lord had helped me to build with wisdom, it was not easy, in my case relatives did not even bother me because both of us had christian families, it was the war within me that frustrated me because right from when I knew the lord as early as six years old, I had kept my life pure and done everything to please the lord so I thought "what did I ever do wrong for God to withold the fruit of marriage from me" and Deremi replied that would I stop serving God even if he decided not to give us a child at all. So I asked God to help me wait on him and words of prophecy like never before kept pouring in that God will never forsake us, that the world is eagerly waiting for the manisfestation of our child.I quickly keyed in into those promises, I even started planing for a nursery, buying baby things because I thought I would no longer wait again but then..........

After six years of another round of waiting, God showed up he gave us the much waited beautiful glorious child on september 27, 2011, today, he is one year old and I look back for all the sowing we did in tears, it was very painful I would not decieve you, it was hard beyond description, there were really frustrating days, I actually thought there was no use serving God if you could go through shame especially in the hands of those who did not believe, those who scorn you for  waiting on God and those who say all sorts of things like" that is how they will say they have given their lives to christ when they know they have wasted all the things that will make them pregnant and give birth" I am more happier in my life than ever not because I have Ayomitide in my arms right now but because I have reaped in joy what I sow in tears, my home is more blessed than ever and my husband is the best father any one could ever wish for and God indeed fulfilled his promise, they that sow in tears shall reap in joy(ps 126:5&6) now i have that peace that passeth all understanding