Shinning stars Magazine: I wanna do my own thing

Shinning stars Magazine: I wanna do my own thing: “What is all this bullshit about living according to some rules in the bible anyway? You mean I am too stupid to make my own rules and li...

I wanna do my own thing

“What is all this bullshit about living according to some rules in the bible anyway? You mean I am too stupid to make my own rules and live by them hun? I believe in God as the Supreme Being and that’s all there is. I wonder what some people gain by going to church, or wait all night praying when all they need do is to tap into their potentials. The most annoying is the fact that they can’t get away doing things they really love to do deep down in their hearts, they are confined by the holy book’s rule of living. Oh gosh! What a waste of my time. You know what; I wanna do my own thing. I don’t care if it pays as long as I am the one in charge of things, I am happy, in control and on top of my game. You could call me a Christian, my mother would love that but you must add liberal to it cos I wanna do my own thing”

The above excerpt was the status on my facebook some miserable years ago when I thought giving my life to Christ and having a relationship with him was the dumbest thing I could ever do. But I am so sorry about all that I wrote because I got so many likes and comments back then, things are no longer what they used to be. I find doing my own thing very unwise because I was missing out on all the help God offers me. I wasted my time trying to be among, I am not talking about the world’s definition of being successful which is having tush rides, cute babe, cash in hand, money in your account, nice house, important peeps and all that because I had all of that, I practically lived to get those things but in spite of it all I was wretched. don’t get deceived about the big boys and babes in town, they wish they could give it all up to be a Christian like you behind the glamour and glitz lies a miserable life wanting a way out but it’s hard not to be selfish, greedy, immoral, thief, fornicator, drunkard, prostitute, and so on ALL BY YOURSELF.

Until I got hold of this scripture, Romans 7:15-18 I thought I could do my own thing and be the good guy, unfortunately, when I try to do good, evil is present with me. For I fail to practice the good deeds I desire to do, but the evil deeds that I do not desire to do are what I am ever doing. Because I didn’t give Jesus my life and allow his help to be a good man, evil followed me all about even when I purposed to do good. I thought giving my life to him was going to make me dumb, because I am the kind of guy who loves to be in charge. When I read it that I should cast all my cares unto God, I thought “so what I am going to do if you have to do everything for me?” I didn’t know it means that he was going to be working in me, teaching me how to live, how to speak, how to be a good man, how to live a life worthy of emulation and most importantly how to be the shinning light that he has called me to be, in order to prove himself mighty in me so others can see that Jesus is the answer for the world today.

Now I know that nothing good dwells in doing my own thing, I can will what is right but I cannot perform it because it is not by power nor by might but by his spirit will I ever amount to somebody valuable. It is in him that I have my definition, my goals and all that I need in life. I cannot do my own thing when all the help I need is in Christ Jesus. In case you have been misled by my previous status, please give it to him, he wants to help you become a better person, DO HIS WILL, DON’T DO YOUR OWN THING.

Shared Spaces………..Basic Etiquettes

In public places/church/library when lectures and important meetings are going on, you should put your phone in silence or vibration mode. Some still have their ring tones disturb everyone!

When in a shared public space, you should use your ear piece/hands free to listen to your music, not everyone is interested in what you are listening to, respect other people.

Some people are so against using body fragrances for reasons best known to them.  They come into a fully air-conditioned room and the atmosphere changes. Why? A mild scented cologne, body cream, body spray does not hurt, it’s others who notice the smell that oozes from your body. Allow people to be comfortable around you. As funny as it sounds, it could make you lose important job deals, offers or meaningful relationships.

Meanwhile, you should use roll-on on a clean shaved armpit otherwise the use of roll-on on a dirty armpit hair is horrible.

Well this is true, I am sorry if it offends anyone, some people (men especially) are fond of occupying so much space in the cab or bus, they sit with legs wide opened as if they are in their houses and then some put both arms on the seat, for what?

Don’t remove your shoes in public spaces if you have sweated a great deal, nobody wants to share in that smell.

When in a party/wedding ceremony especially; don’t be the one fighting servers that food has not gotten to you, you can tell them politely or better still wait your turn. Don’t draw undue attention to yourself, Ensure you eat before you leave your house so you won’t be angry whether you are served or not.

Equally when small chops are served in a social gathering/wedding ceremony and it’s for everyone on the table, don’t draw the plate to yourself. It’s meant to be shared.

Don’t abuse the couple when you don’t get to eat at weddings, it’s not their fault, they already delegated duties.

That you are delegated to help organize events does not mean you should usurp the opportunity to hoard things for yourself. Don’t take more than what is due you; be accountable, be responsible, someone might be watching and that could speak for you somewhere; somehow in the future.

When in a public space and some arguments or discussions are going on, if you have any meaningful contribution, you can chip yours in. If not, Listen and learn from the discussants, don’t talk when you don’t have something meaningful to say, you will give yourself a wrong definition.

Shining stars show others where to tread; when you falter on all these things, people might not say anything but you would have a given a wrong impression that: you don’t know any better. Your Personal grooming is very important, don’t neglect that aspect of your life.

PS: Feel free to add your wealth of experience in behaving properly in shared spaces. #shineforth

HMN…….ITS NOT ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM PART 1

“Oginnni? It is as if Mother has refused to get well, and she knows we cannot afford this at all, mba” blurted Onyinye immediately we left the hospital to get food for our mother who has been hospitalized for the past one month, the sickness has been diagnosed to be malaria parasite but she hasn’t improved a bit ever since. when she threw up the concoction rice Onyinye bought this morning, again it occurred to me that we might be losing her but Onyinye shares a different opinion, she believes mother is just not trying to be well, according to her, she is not trying enough to get out of that hospital bed and go home to take up responsibilities, she says “mother knows we can’t afford to spend the little we have on hospital alone when there is no food in the house, the rent is there, debts have been incurred and she is just lying there accepting all the sympathies, I don’t know of anything she is doing to get well” when I explained that people don’t pretend to be sick at least not for so long and when people get sick, they just don’t determine to get well and miraculously get well but she won’t hear any of this. don’t judge her yet, Onyinye is not heartless, she is just frustrated.

My name is Nonso, you just met my sister and my mother and now me, I still have three other siblings and we are the family of Nwokwuku. First thing you should know about us is that we are very Poor, if you know all the definitions of being poor then ascribe it to us because I wouldn’t want to go into all those horrible details of being a host of poverty. My father is alive but dead to us because we don’t even know where he is, ever since madam “syntheleta” vyed for the post of councilor in my community and lost my father disappeared with her for the past ten years but news reaching us says they got married and are now living in Port Harcourt while some claim Madam took him out of the country. As you could guess he wasn’t the responsible type before his disappearance he was unemployed though he had a motorcycle he uses for commuting passengers but his proceeds never get to be used for our welfare, he always made sure he had no money on him when he returns home late into the night, some days he would not even show up. before he disappeared we had already concluded that he was dead to us except Mother who still nursed the hope of him returning someday to come beg for forgiveness as she would sometimes say” I don’t want your father returning and see you suffering, he would not appreciate me”. My mother and sometimes my elder sister who had married earlier shouldered the the family’s responsibly of feeding and the payment of our two-room apartment alone, anyone who desired to be educated would have to see him/herself through with no help from home.

So my journey began, I had a small farm I was managing for one of my uncles as soon as I was eleven so I planted all manner of crops and with so much hard work and many other menial jobs like bricklaying, block making, painting I saw myself through university and finished with strong a 2-1. I am the first and only graduate of the family. My elder sister was in her first year in the polytechnic when she got pregnant for a staff of the school, luckily the man married her and she managed to get her OND but she has not been able to go back to school because of family obligations but she is averagely okay. Onyinye enrolled in Government empowered program to learn sewing and ever since she finished, she has not been able to get money to buy a sewing machine and get a shop. She works with a woman who over works her with such a meager pay but its either that or marriage to some never-do-well. My immediate younger sister left with one of my mother’s sisters to Ibadan with a promise to send her to school but Nena has been engaged in food selling in my aunt’s restaurant, now………………..(TO BE CONTINUED)

THOSE WHO SOW IN TEARS

January 21, 1990 when we got married, I couldn't be happier knowing I married the will of God for my life, happiness was too mild to describe what we both felt that day, I could hold joy in both my hands and greet ecstacy with a wave, all the beautiful feelings were right inside of us, you know that kind of feeling: "that everything is just so good, so right and so beautiful". That was what it was with me and Deremi, my shinning armour.Again, God was with us he helped us to keep ourselves pure till that day and indeed it was a whole new level for us, if you know what I mean. After our honeymoon, I braced up to cope  with marital challenges, waking up early to make sure my husband no longer starve in the office and being conscious of not relaxing on looking good for him, keeping the house clean and nice was another and again, making myself available for him was on top of my list. So I was really prepared for marriage, i didnt just prepare for the wedding and everything was going on so smootly, people began to tease my husband saying he had never looked so handsome and he became so attached to me and our home that he finds it hard to leave me for long, that is the power of love coupled with wisdom from a woman of purpose. We became role model couple in church and was in no time included as singles fellowship coordinators because of our successful marriage.

so what happened to us?

This was the question I asked my self on january 21, 2000 when Deremi insisted we go to South Africa for our wedding anniversary, he knew I could no longer  understand  the way our lives had turned.Medically we have been proven to be absolutely okay, spritually there were no forces working against us because we had settled that in prayers during our courtship and God had assured us while we prayed that we had crossed over from law to grace, so ancestral demons would not work against our marriage.Through out these ten yeras I had gone back to God in prayers and he said to me and my husband that he has already answered our prayers on child birth that we should ask for another thing he would want want him to do for us.but alas, there was no child even after 15 years.

so where is the child God said he has given us?

I began to act funny, I knew within me that i had not given birth before so I put it to my husband whether he had impregnated a woman a long time ago because I thought if God says he had already answered our prayers, perhaps there was a neglected child somewhere that God wanted us to bring in before giving us another.I knew we both married as virgins but I only believed what Deremi told me, there was no way one could check if a man was really a virgin so I began to pester and haunt him to confess what he didnt do and our marriage took another turn of woes.We began quarelling every day, he became so irritating to me because I took over the battle, we no longer pray together and peole began to notice we came in different cars to church and other functions.
he tried, oh, he tried to make things work but I objectified him as the problem, I was very angry, with the way life has ditched us, by now my first child was supposed to be in the university and here I was still waiting and I was also embittered that even if the child finally comes, how would it be for me to be carrying a pregenancy at this stage of my life when all my friends have been sending me messages of how their children are been matriculated into higher institutions.
then I gave up, I stopped trying, I stopped loving, i stopped praying and I stopped expecting.my husband kept trying, he would cook for me, he would pray on our behalf and he kept thanking God for what he did not see-the promised child-

so what happened to me?

Brethren started praying for me, oh, may you not lack the company of praying men on your day of adversity, I did not lack that and God answered them, he brought me back to him and I finally saw what I had been doing, because I had not seen the physical manisfestation of what God promised me I began to misbehave and began destroying the home the lord had helped me to build with wisdom, it was not easy, in my case relatives did not even bother me because both of us had christian families, it was the war within me that frustrated me because right from when I knew the lord as early as six years old, I had kept my life pure and done everything to please the lord so I thought "what did I ever do wrong for God to withold the fruit of marriage from me" and Deremi replied that would I stop serving God even if he decided not to give us a child at all. So I asked God to help me wait on him and words of prophecy like never before kept pouring in that God will never forsake us, that the world is eagerly waiting for the manisfestation of our child.I quickly keyed in into those promises, I even started planing for a nursery, buying baby things because I thought I would no longer wait again but then..........

After six years of another round of waiting, God showed up he gave us the much waited beautiful glorious child on september 27, 2011, today, he is one year old and I look back for all the sowing we did in tears, it was very painful I would not decieve you, it was hard beyond description, there were really frustrating days, I actually thought there was no use serving God if you could go through shame especially in the hands of those who did not believe, those who scorn you for  waiting on God and those who say all sorts of things like" that is how they will say they have given their lives to christ when they know they have wasted all the things that will make them pregnant and give birth" I am more happier in my life than ever not because I have Ayomitide in my arms right now but because I have reaped in joy what I sow in tears, my home is more blessed than ever and my husband is the best father any one could ever wish for and God indeed fulfilled his promise, they that sow in tears shall reap in joy(ps 126:5&6) now i have that peace that passeth all understanding

IT’S NOT ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK

                                                                      

Damisola could not calm the noises and the rumblings in her inside, it seems the voices arguing in her head were becoming more violent, the beautiful and handsome faces all around her were really really intimidating, the air smells of people who exudes confidence even their suits showed they were more than prepared for this last stage, everyone walks around with this aura of “I have it all fixed” and here she was feeling so sorry for herself she could not even manage to retouch her overdue hair, her shoes were indeed out of trend, thanks to Kemi her friend who had borrowed her the suit and it didn’t even fit properly because kemi was slimmer so she had to forcefully package herself inside which made her look like an overstuffed paper bag, her anxiousness made her forget to apply cologne but she knew she was not smelling bad thanks to the soap in the hotel where the company had lodged the finalists. A lot of people were making friends and chatting but no one came close and she couldn’t blame them her deep, rough, black skin colour blended with the dark blue suit such that no one might really notice her there, perhaps she looked like a flower pot or something.

 Besides, even if anyone had said “Hello” she couldn’t even bring herself to it, because she really felt out of place, you know how a poor kid looks amidst rich kids, that kind of thing was what she felt and in spite of the serene and quiet environment she was indeed troubled on the inside. she wished she could do something to be calm, the guy sitting next to her had noticed her edginess and had maintained a distance between them, he must have thought that she was not absolutely normal, but she was completely normal only greatly disturbed and panicky about the presentation she would be making in front of all these professional and brilliant people today. She had written a number of tests and done various oral interviews to get to this stage but this last presentation would determine whether she would get this job or not.

The journey to the podium seems like a year when her name was called, she felt unseen by the body of the professionals and she knew she wasn’t  looking like the person to be working with this reputable and renowned ICT company but as she opened her mouth, she knew it would have been better if she hadn’t showed up, because the applause had hushed and everyone was waiting for her to speak, previously, many speakers had done so wonderfully well that the audience even gave them a standing ovation, at the end may be they would give her the sympathetic hug and dismiss her. One…two…..three…….and nothing came out, her hands shook vigorously and her feet had swollen so much she felt they were going to pop out any moment, then from the rear a clap started, then two till everyone started clapping, in the midst of it she burst into speaking not from her paper but into tongues, that was the only thing she could say and as the clapped died down she regained her speech, her strength,  the moderator reminded her that she two minutes since she had wasted three and in that two minutes she witnessed the most spectacular miracle she had ever seen, the hall was quiet because she saw that everyone listened eagerly and when it was time for questions many hands were up, especially from the judges and she answered them according to the prompting of the holy spirit inside her. 

As she sat the whole heaviness resumed and when they resumed from the ten minutes break to get the final list of the recently employed computer programmers, she couldn’t stand up when her name was called, she just sat speaking in another wave of tongues and people kept clapping urging her to go forward, as she stood she remembered from long ago, how not many liked her because of how she looks, how difficult it was for her to make friends cos she was far from pretty, how intimidated she had always been because her parents were poor and illiterate but how she had met God and was made to believe that how you look do not determine how far you go in life but how well you feed the man on the inside of you, after reading Andrew Wommack’s Spirit, Soul and Body she really understand that God does not relate with you on how you look but according to  your spirit, ever since she had given her life to Christ, renewing her mind became paramount and that also flowed to her soul where she was able to do exceeding well in her studies which has now paved way for this stunning success, she couldn’t believe it, this is a job anyone could kill to have but here it was offered to her by grace alone and not by her looks and background. “Praise the lord!” And she walked magnificently to the podium this time.

Shinning stars Magazine: I WANNA DO MY OWN THING

Shinning stars Magazine: I WANNA DO MY OWN THING: “What is all this bullshit about living according to some rules in the bible anyway? You mean I am too stupid to make my own rules and...